A beauty transformation is an integral part of your dating action plan. A beauty transformation is about maximizing your physical beauty to the fullest. Your transformation is about making the most of whatever God has given you to work with and improving the aspects of your appearance that are within your control (weight, fitness, overall health, hair, skin, etc.). It is about dressing in a manner that allows you to show off your best assets, whether that be your legs, cleavage, butt, face or hair. I don’t mean getting oversized boobs or other types of drastic cosmetic surgery, but maximizing your physical attributes/features to always look your best. If you want to enjoy a vibrant dating life, you may need to undergo a beauty transformation as described in Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating. In the book, I share techniques that any woman can use to look and feel her best–and maximize her physical beauty without cosmetic surgery.

Her 10 steps to a beauty transformation are: Read full article

Do You Know Where To Find The “Good” Men & Women In DC?

Well….We Do! Come join us for this great evening of live music, poetry, relationship discussions, and after party on Saturday, March 27th!

Join the real life “Hitch” PAUL CARRICK BRUNSON (http://onedegreefrom.me), author NIKKI NOKES (http://www.nikkinokes.com), spoken word artists, and a panel of experts for a night of entertainment and real talk about sex, love and relationships!

TICKETS for show and VIP after party can be purchased at http://moderndaymatchmaker.eventbrite.com  (PLEASE USE My Discount Code:  JJSMITH for a $5 discount!) Read full article

JJ asks the Fellas what causes a man to commit to one woman. They also discuss the differences between commitment and monogamy. When does a man ask a woman to be his wife or girlfriend?

The first date is one of the most important events in a new relationship. First dates are important because they can either make a man eager to see you again or make him run for the highway. Know that your communication is key to making him interested in seeing you again.

Considering the location of the first date is one of the most critical decisions that need to be made. The first date location will affect the way you interact with each other so be sure to find an environment where you’ll both feel relaxed and comfortable. The other critical factor in a successful first date is your conversation, which should be light and upbeat to complete the overall first date experience.

When communicating on a first date, it is important to let a guy get to know you before you begin to share too many details about your views and your past. For most of us, the rough times in our lives have allowed us to grow and become the people we are today. However, until someone gets to know you, they may not understand or may pass judgments on some your past mistakes. Here are some tips for what NOT to talk about on your first date:

1. Getting Married: It scares men to get married to someone they love. This is definitely not a conversation he wants to have with a woman he barely knows.
2. Your Kids: You love your kids and they interest you. However, to a man, this just indicates increased responsibility or baby daddy drama.
3. Your Horrible Childhood: Don’t seek pity for injustices in your past; it will make you appear hurt, wounded and in need of healing.
4. Ex-Boyfriends: This is a no-win situation. If you say something positive about an ex-boyfriend, a man will feel threatened or discouraged. If you say how he cheated on you constantly, he will think you are weak and a pushover. The truth is that there’s no good outcome likely to result from talking about an ex on the first date. Read full article

JJ Smith discusses the real reason why men cheat. This is the truth that no one is telling you. JJ explains why monogamy is unnatural for men.

JJ asks the Fellas for things a woman can do if she seriously wants to get married and keep a husband. Each Fella lists 3 things that help a woman to get and keep a man, as well as things that decrease her chances of keeping a man. This is good input from the Fellas for those ladies who want to settle down and get married.

JJ asks the Fellas what they think about wigs, weaves, and extensions…And, you will be surprised what they say!

Real Talk with JJ and The Fellas discuss the differences between good sex and great sex (sex that is memorable). The Fellas also discuss “bad sex!”  Also, the best breakdown of “aw skeet skeet skeet” from the Lil John song!

VD can actually be a blessing in disguise for single people. Think about it: If you’re single, you don’t have to worry about giving your partner anything so you have less to worry about altogether.

That’s right… I said it… VD (aka Valentine’s Day) can be awesome for single people! We’re coming up on one of the holidays that Singles usually dread the most: Valentine’s Day! If you are single, I going to tell you how Valentine’s Day can be one of the most empowering days of the year.

Now I do realize how this can be a difficult time for Singles. With all the flowers, heart-shaped candy and happy couples everywhere, it can be a constant reminder that you don’t have someone special in your life. But this year we’re going to celebrate and enjoy Valentine’s Day even if we’re single.

If You’re Single, Consider This:

It’s important to learn to be happy while you’re single. Single people are beginning to realize that they actually have a lot of time to create a meaningful life for themselves, and they are deciding to pursue their dreams. What are you really passionate about, and what do you enjoy doing? Do you have a rich social life with great friends and loving family members? Being single is the best time to discover what you want out of life and to focus on creating the life you’ve always dreamed of! Maximize your career, interests, hobbies and relationships while you’re single, and make that time the best days of your life.

                       
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To read Part 1:  The Real Reasons 70% of Black Women are Single:  It’s Not What They’re Telling You! (Part 1)

In Part 1, I stated that we’ve all heard on Oprah, CNN, ABC News, and the Washington Post that 70% of black women are single, and 42% are unmarried.  Many news organizations have provided the statistics, but I’ve rarely seen these media outlets offer any real solutions.  So, our radio show, “Real Talk with JJ and The Fellas” will be discussing this topic the entire month of January and offering real solutions to this challenge.  I will begin by offering a few solutions below:    

*Please note that everything is not for everyone, so some of these suggestions may be right for you and others may not.  Be open-minded and feel free to share other suggestions that have worked for you.  My suggestions are listed below:

1. Do NOT Settle, but DO Compromise:  I am not suggesting you settle or lower standards, but if you look at “the list” of what you’re looking for a man, there may be some areas in which you can compromise.  As an example, does he have to be a certain height, skin color, or education/income level?  Can you be satisfied with him if he earns a bit less than you?  However, I would not recommend you compromise on the things that are non-negotiable, such as character, morals, and religious beliefs.  A man’s character is not tied to his monetary, education or financial status, so be sure to look at “who he is” and not “what he has” if you seriously want to pursue meaningful love relationships.
2. Invest In His Potential:  Now I will begin this suggestion by saying, “proceed with extreme caution!”  I have seen women successfully do this and others like myself, have been burned.  In fact, when I was in my 20s, I dated a man who made about a third of what I earned and at the end of the relationship, I ended up $80,000 poorer.  But if he is a man of good character and morals (which is most important) and you see him making a genuine effort to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally and financially and has solid plans for his life, then INVEST IN HIM.  Investing in him means to be his helpmate to help him achieve his goals.  This may mean providing some reasonable amount of financial assistance to help him pursue an education or helping him grow spiritually or emotionally.  For some women, they will get a return on their investment with a long-term committed relationship with him, but for others, he may still upgrade you when he becomes more financially successful; but that is the chance you take.   Be careful of the men who just want to “marry up” and build their wealth and status by marrying you.  These types of men are trying to gain wealth and status by any means necessary and will almost always trade you in for a younger, prettier women once they get to a higher level of financial success.
3. Don’t Just Date Brothers, Date Others (Outside Your Race):  For a lot of Black women, one of the most difficult things for them to do is to date outside of their race.  There are many reasons Black women tend not to date outside their race; Some Black women want a man that reminds them of their daddy and some feel they are only attracted to Black men.  However, with the number of “datable” black men declining, how long are you going to wait for someone who statistically may not be available?  If you’re doing all the right things to be sure that you’re ready for a relationship and are still challenged with meeting Black men with compatible lifestyles (social backgrounds, economic status, education levels), then dating outside your race may be a good option for you.  Now, who you date of course is a matter of personal preference and I’m not trying to encourage you to stop dating Black men.  I know for me, I love and admire Black men so much that my personal preference for Black men would probably always keep me from dating outside my race.  However, if you’re challenged with having enough options in men, dating outside your race will expand your dating pool significantly.
4. Move to Cities Where the Men Outnumber the Women:  Even though nationally, women outnumber men, there are some male-dominated cities that have more single men than single women.  A few of the best cities to meet single men over 35 include San Jose, California, Salt Lake City, Utah, Arlington, Texas, and Raleigh, North Carolina.  In my eBook, 101 Best Places to Meet Men, I list 101 places where the men generally outnumber the women.  In the past, women typically met men in grocery stores, gyms, bars/lounges, church, work, gyms/exercise centers, and car shows. These places are still great options for meeting men, but they have also gotten stale and simply don’t generate the quantity of dates required for women to have enough options.  Many single women don’t know the best places for meeting a large quantity of men.  So this eBook provides you with 101 places where you can go to increase your chances of meeting more men.  A friend of mine is a great fisherman and he spends a considerable amount of time planning the best locations to find fish for that day.  It’s the same with dating.  If you don’t put yourself in the places to meet more men, you’re never going to find them.  You will have to participate in activities and go to places that are dominated by men.  These are locations where the men typically outnumber the women.  And sistas, if you are living in Atlanta and still complaining about not finding a “good black man” then your dating woes are likely to continue with female to male ratio being something like 20 to 1.

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