JJ asks the Fellas for things a woman can do if she seriously wants to get married and keep a husband. Each Fella lists 3 things that help a woman to get and keep a man, as well as things that decrease her chances of keeping a man. This is good input from the Fellas for those ladies who want to settle down and get married.

JJ asks the Fellas what they think about wigs, weaves, and extensions…And, you will be surprised what they say!

Real Talk with JJ and The Fellas discuss the differences between good sex and great sex (sex that is memorable). The Fellas also discuss “bad sex!”  Also, the best breakdown of “aw skeet skeet skeet” from the Lil John song!

To read Part 1:  The Real Reasons 70% of Black Women are Single:  It’s Not What They’re Telling You! (Part 1)

In Part 1, I stated that we’ve all heard on Oprah, CNN, ABC News, and the Washington Post that 70% of black women are single, and 42% are unmarried.  Many news organizations have provided the statistics, but I’ve rarely seen these media outlets offer any real solutions.  So, our radio show, “Real Talk with JJ and The Fellas” will be discussing this topic the entire month of January and offering real solutions to this challenge.  I will begin by offering a few solutions below:    

*Please note that everything is not for everyone, so some of these suggestions may be right for you and others may not.  Be open-minded and feel free to share other suggestions that have worked for you.  My suggestions are listed below:

1. Do NOT Settle, but DO Compromise:  I am not suggesting you settle or lower standards, but if you look at “the list” of what you’re looking for a man, there may be some areas in which you can compromise.  As an example, does he have to be a certain height, skin color, or education/income level?  Can you be satisfied with him if he earns a bit less than you?  However, I would not recommend you compromise on the things that are non-negotiable, such as character, morals, and religious beliefs.  A man’s character is not tied to his monetary, education or financial status, so be sure to look at “who he is” and not “what he has” if you seriously want to pursue meaningful love relationships.
2. Invest In His Potential:  Now I will begin this suggestion by saying, “proceed with extreme caution!”  I have seen women successfully do this and others like myself, have been burned.  In fact, when I was in my 20s, I dated a man who made about a third of what I earned and at the end of the relationship, I ended up $80,000 poorer.  But if he is a man of good character and morals (which is most important) and you see him making a genuine effort to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally and financially and has solid plans for his life, then INVEST IN HIM.  Investing in him means to be his helpmate to help him achieve his goals.  This may mean providing some reasonable amount of financial assistance to help him pursue an education or helping him grow spiritually or emotionally.  For some women, they will get a return on their investment with a long-term committed relationship with him, but for others, he may still upgrade you when he becomes more financially successful; but that is the chance you take.   Be careful of the men who just want to “marry up” and build their wealth and status by marrying you.  These types of men are trying to gain wealth and status by any means necessary and will almost always trade you in for a younger, prettier women once they get to a higher level of financial success.
3. Don’t Just Date Brothers, Date Others (Outside Your Race):  For a lot of Black women, one of the most difficult things for them to do is to date outside of their race.  There are many reasons Black women tend not to date outside their race; Some Black women want a man that reminds them of their daddy and some feel they are only attracted to Black men.  However, with the number of “datable” black men declining, how long are you going to wait for someone who statistically may not be available?  If you’re doing all the right things to be sure that you’re ready for a relationship and are still challenged with meeting Black men with compatible lifestyles (social backgrounds, economic status, education levels), then dating outside your race may be a good option for you.  Now, who you date of course is a matter of personal preference and I’m not trying to encourage you to stop dating Black men.  I know for me, I love and admire Black men so much that my personal preference for Black men would probably always keep me from dating outside my race.  However, if you’re challenged with having enough options in men, dating outside your race will expand your dating pool significantly.
4. Move to Cities Where the Men Outnumber the Women:  Even though nationally, women outnumber men, there are some male-dominated cities that have more single men than single women.  A few of the best cities to meet single men over 35 include San Jose, California, Salt Lake City, Utah, Arlington, Texas, and Raleigh, North Carolina.  In my eBook, 101 Best Places to Meet Men, I list 101 places where the men generally outnumber the women.  In the past, women typically met men in grocery stores, gyms, bars/lounges, church, work, gyms/exercise centers, and car shows. These places are still great options for meeting men, but they have also gotten stale and simply don’t generate the quantity of dates required for women to have enough options.  Many single women don’t know the best places for meeting a large quantity of men.  So this eBook provides you with 101 places where you can go to increase your chances of meeting more men.  A friend of mine is a great fisherman and he spends a considerable amount of time planning the best locations to find fish for that day.  It’s the same with dating.  If you don’t put yourself in the places to meet more men, you’re never going to find them.  You will have to participate in activities and go to places that are dominated by men.  These are locations where the men typically outnumber the women.  And sistas, if you are living in Atlanta and still complaining about not finding a “good black man” then your dating woes are likely to continue with female to male ratio being something like 20 to 1.

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