A happy relationship is one of the best things life can offer; it is difficult to maintain lasting happiness. Unsolved problems can ruin your life; good feelings will be only a memory. Relationship counseling can help to have lasting harmony, truly resolving your problems. Relationship counseling can also teach you how to keep love and appropriate feelings alive, for the rest of your life. Read full article

A Guide for Singles and Couples Seeking True Love

Have you ever wished there was a ‘guidebook’ to navigate you through the maze of your relationship? Here it is! 5 of our most powerful 10+ Tips to Making Your Relationship the Best Ever. (See also our “5+ Tips” to glean the enormous benefits of our blissful love advice.) Read full article

Some principles remain true down through the ages. Whether we cook over a fire or push a button on the microwave, the power of relationships is one of those principles. When fully understood, creating effective reflationships will open unimaginable doors for you.

Now I am not talking about networking as we understand that term today. I am talking about a delicate balance that requires extra effort to establish and maintain. Building relationships really is the key to your future success and prosperity.

Building solid relationships that stand the test of time is a necessity for several reasons. For example, in a group or organization, the success of each person depends on how efficient and effective the relationships within that group or organization function and how each relationship relates to the management of the organization.

The person who understands how to build and maintain effective relationships is the person who could run the organization one day in the near future.

On the one hand, being part of a group or organization that has not established solid relationships among its members can really be very frustrating. On the other hand, an effective group or organization may ask so much of their members, that sometimes the members would have no life outside the organization because they are forced to sacrifice all other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. Organizations or groups with these kinds of scenarios are disfunctional and relationships can be stressed to the point of disintegration.

One only needs to watch The Apprentice with Donald Trump or some of the other reality shows for some good tips on how relationships should and should not function.

Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. It’s the time tested – “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know that counts.” Creating relationships that are mutually beneficial, where cooperation and respect are required of both parties, will create a success environment that, eventually, will impact society for better or worse. Criminal enterprises are based largely on relationship as are athletic teams. One creates good, one does not but, in both, each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal that will benefit all members of the group. This can only be achieved with effective and efficient relationships.

To get what you want you must first understand the needs of the other party to be in a position to craft an effective and efficient relationship. What is the easiest way to understand what is important to another party? Ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party sees that you really want to know, they will give you all the information that you need to determine how you can create a solution that is beneficial to you as well as them.

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly and clearly express what they need and want out of forging the relationship. Never assume that the other party understands our needs and will just give us what we need, when we need it, without asking for it. You must not also assume that you know their needs lest you give up something you will later regret giving. It is a step by step process. The first step is to ask what they need and to make sure the other party knows exactly what you need by telling them so.

A key component to a successful relationship is mutual respect. This is grown through the process of open communication. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they think. A good tool is to listen first and summarize what they tell you by saying something like – “Let me make sure I have this straight. Are you saying you need me to…….?” Keep asking and listening and summarizing until you have a solid understanding of what the other party needs. By the same token, use this tool to clearly articulate your needs by saying something like – “So, if I can do…….. for you, you can do …………..for me, right?”

Asking, listening, and summarizing will ensure there are no misunderstandings later and will start laying the foundation of respect on which you will begin building the relationship. If both parties carry out their parts of the bargain, the relationship can last for years and continue to provide benefits to both parties.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle areas of disagreement openly. Disagreements between parties can be quite interesting. When five people see the same accident there will likely be five different versions told to the investigators. Each person sees the situation from their own perspective. If you can can see past the differences you are the one who can create a win-win solution for both parties.

When you acknowledge that the relationship is more important that the areas of disagreement, be the one to exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party’s problem areas and try to get it out of the way. Even if you fail, it demonstrates to the other party that you really want to establish a long term relationship that will be mutually beneficial.

Another key is to create an atmosphere that is conducive to informal discussions. This allows both parties to realx and bring out issues and concerns comfortably. Whay are so many business deals made on the golf course do you imagine?

When an informal location is not possible, develop an informal atmosphere right where you are. If in an office, make sure there are no obstacles like a desk or table between you and the other party. The key is making the whole process less threatening so the other party will express their feelings as if they are having an informal chat with a friend.

Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. Think long term in creating relationships. I have relationships that go back 20 years and more. These are people whom I may only talk with once a year but who are as close as the telephone and willing do me a favor without the expectation of anything in return because I will do the same for them when they need help.

That’s what relationships are for.

Jim De Santis

There are two times that people put the most effort into a relationship–at the beginning, and at the end. At the beginning, we want so much to spend time together that we will make time to do whatever it takes. At the end of a relationship, we spend a lot of effort just to keep ourselves together while our relationship is falling apart. Many people learn too late that the most important time to work on a relationship is . . . every day. Because, while choosing a good partner is essential, just committing to someone does not ensure years of happiness.
To continue to reap the rewards of a great relationship, there is a continual amount of work that must be done. Just as a farmer cannot sow his seeds and sit back until they mature, so it is that we cannot expect an initial commitment to carry us to a great relationship.
Following these 10 steps will help to keep your relationship healthy and thriving:
1. Give and take–Couples who have been married 50 years or more say that the number one reason their marriages have survived is “give and take.” There are times that our needs must be met, but there are also times when we need to sacrifice for the sake of our partner (and our relationship).
2. Dating–Dating is not just for meeting people. It is the number one ingredient in keeping a marriage fun. The more children there are in a relationship, the greater the need for dating. Dating can be defined as doing something enjoyable with your partner, outside the home, without the kids. One time a week is minimal for most couples.
3. Love is given–Love needs to be demonstrated in ways that are perceived as loving by our partner. Just to feel like we love our partner is not enough to keep their love tank full. For some, loving is receiving gifts or favors; for others physical touch or sex; and for others it is doing activities together. Just because we like something doesn’t mean our partner does. Love must be given in a way that it can be received.
4. Trust is earned–Without trust there can be no intimacy in a relationship. Trust, unlike love, is not given but can only be earned. We earn our partner’s trust by following through on our commitments and consistently behaving in a way that is good for our relationship.
5. Communicate honestly–Lack of honest communication indicates lack of trust or insecurity. Either is detrimental to a relationship. To be honest with each other means that there must be a freedom to express ideas that your partner does not like and does not have to like. When we agree that listening does not necessitate agreement, it is easier to be open and honest with each other.
6. Use the power of visualization–We can only achieve what we can conceive. The way you think about your partner and your future together will impact the way you feel and behave toward each other. Negative images must lead to corrective action or be replaced with positive ones. Positive thinking about your partner puts a gleam in your eye which is apparent to your partner.
7. Make your needs known–Eliminate all complaining by changing your complaints to requests. Requests risk rejection, but complaints guarantee it. Do you really want your spouse to stop watching TV or are you really wanting your spouse to sit and talk with you? Ask your spouse to sit and talk with you rather than complaining about his or her TV viewing.
8. Agree–Rather than listening for the part of what your partner is saying that you disagree with and then debating about it, listen for what your partner is saying that you agree with. Sometimes partners feel like you are looking for something to pick at because you only comment when you disagree. Frequent agreement will make the disagreements more tolerable.
9. Go the extra step–The little bit extra that we do for any job or relationship makes all the difference both in early dating and in maintaining the relationship. Make your spouse’s lunch? Include a little love note. Greet your spouse with a kiss? Kiss his or her neck too. Whatever you do, think about how you can add just a little more to make it special.
10. Make a relationship plan–Living from day to day without any goals for the future leads to routine, stagnation, boredom, or burnout. When you and your partner are working on goals together, you share something that the rest of the world doesn’t have. And that creates a special world for the two of you.
Just as it’s easier to change your car oil than to replace the transmission, so it is easier to work on your relationship before problems occur. Being in love has never been enough to maintain a long term relationship. Doing what it takes to have a good long term relationship, however, will increase your feelings of love. Working one on one with a relationship coach will give you more specific ways to address issues important to your relationship. Success can happen if you make it happen.

Most relationships are very exciting in the beginning but if you have been in your current relationship for awhile already you may have noticed that the initial excitement you experienced is starting to waiver and you and your partner may be settling into a dull routine. As a relationship progresses one or both partners may be guilty of settling into complacency and may not strive to keep the element of excitement in their relationship. The following are a few tips for ensuring that your relationship stays as exciting as it was in the beginning.

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Often men and women are at opposite ends of the spectrum when the issue of relationships is taken into account. Their behaviors and differences are most noticeable when taking into consideration how they behave during emotion charged conflicts. This provides a clear insight into realizing how they process their differences. Read full article

No one can deny the benefit of preventive medicine. First of all, it’s often easier to prevent an illness than it is to cure it–that’s why you go in for your annual physical (or why you should). And we all can agree that feeling healthy is preferable to feeling sick. So looking out for potential illnesses before they take over your life is the reasoning behind the medical check-up.

But when was your last relationship check-up?

Everyone needs a Relationship Check-up?

Unfortunately, couples and couples counselors have not adopted the philosophy of the regular physical for relationships. Most often, the approach is to wait for problems to arise, persist, and then to seek help. To compound the problem, most marriage counseling is focused exclusively on the presenting complaint–this problem-centered focus often obscures any resilient aspects of a relationship that already exist, ones that might be used in a healthy way. This sends the message that couples should only seek counseling or give their relationship close attention when a crisis arises. Couples counseling is seen as a last resort, an act of desperation.

Shouldn?t there be an alternative to this approach?

The typical journey to marriage counseling:

Meet Joanna and Bernie?the “every” couple.

Like many modern-day couples who try to juggle numerous commitments and responsibilities, Joanna and Bernie have their share of stress. And this stress has taken a toll on them. Over time, their relationship has suffered.

Depending on circumstances, relationship problems surfaced but then seemed to disappear?only to resurface at some later point. As time passed, this pattern intensified and became more frequent, often with no resolution. The vitality and life that was once a part of their relationship started to give way to hurt feelings, then withdrawal and finally indifference. As their marriage became more painful, Joanna and Bernie started to channel their energies elsewhere: Work-related activities, parenting and/or time spent with family and friends supplanted the time that was once spent enjoying each other.

As unresolved issues continued to fester, the familiar relationship that once offered comfort and meaning was nowhere to be found. Beleaguered and hopeless, it became painfully obvious to Joanna and Bernie that marriage counseling was needed if they wanted to head off a divorce.

Couples often endure an agonizing existence for years before seeking help?and like a slowly developing medical problem, the more time that elapses before seeking treatment, the poorer the prognosis.

But what if Joanna and Bernie had been going for an annual relationship check-up?

Isn’t it possible that their marriage problems could have been identified early on and Joanna and Bernie been given the tools needed to tackle these issues?

Unfortunately, few options exist for couples who want to evaluate the overall health of their relationship before problems crop up.

When is a problem a “real” problem?

There is a level of decisiveness when someone is dealing with a physical aliment: if you develop a pounding headache that won’t go away, you call your doctor; when you injure your back to the point where you can hardly move, you see a specialist immediately.

This level of decisiveness is lacking when it comes to relationship aliments.

Some couples quarrel often and still have strong relationships; however, conflict can signal the start of significant trouble for others. Some couples make love infrequently but still feel fulfilled and connected with each other, while for other couples, a lack of physical intimacy is a sign that help is needed. In other words, a problem for one couple isn’t necessarily a problem for another.

Would you call a counselor for a relationship check-up if you faced any of the following?

~Lately your marriage seems less fulfilling;

~You start wondering if this is all that love has to offer;

~Over the last few months, you and your husband have been arguing more frequently;

~You’ve noticed that your wife has been withdrawing from you and avoiding intimacy;

~When you have the choice, you prefer spending time with friends rather than with your partner;

~You find that you have no desire to make love to your husband.

If you answered “no” to the above question (whether or not you’d call a professional if you faced any of the aforementioned issues), you’re not alone. And quite frankly, your marriage or relationship might be fine in spite of any one of the above concerns. But then again, one of these observations might also signal that your relationship needs some attention. This is why ongoing attention is so vital for the health of your relationship.

What a Relationship Check-up Can Do for You:

A relationship check-up should focus on all aspects of your relationship?highlighting what is working well, each person’s unique strengths, how these strengths can best be utilized in the relationship, as well as any areas that might need attention so problems can be prevented. Couples can leave a relationship check-up invigorated and with a plan of action that will help them keep their marriage or relationship moving in the right direction.

This preventive medicine approach is a healthy alternative to “just putting up with” relationship problems before seeking help.

Are you ready to implement the preventive medicine model for your relationship? Dr. Nicastro offers a FREE relationship check-up by phone!

Visit www.StrengthenYourRelationship.com to schedule your free relationship check-up. And don’t forget to sign up for Dr. Nicastro’s Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.

When the relationship is going through rough times, you might entertain the idea of quitting. But is quitting the solution to your relationship problems? Don?t you want to know how to fix a failing relationship and stay with your spouse or partner? Learning how to deal with problems in your relationship will make you grow as a person and you can strengthen the connection between you and your spouse or partner.

Here are some tips to help you fix a failing relationship:

Decide to stay in the relationship. The first thing you should do is to believe that the relationship is worth saving. You decided to stay with your spouse or partner and you are willing to fix a failing relationship. It is easier to save the relationship if you know what you want and you are convinced that things will get better.

Figure out what is wrong in your relationship. Are you fighting and arguing a lot? So what are the reasons behind those fights and arguments? Do you still have time to talk or go out on a date or you are both entangled with your work and busy raising your kids? If you need to list down the things that you fight about and look back to understand what is wrong with your relationship then do it. This is your life with your spouse or partner and it is not a waste of time to fix a failing relationship. Analyse and find out what are the things that might be damaging your relationship.

Communicate. After you have evaluated what is wrong in your relationship, it is now time to communicate with your spouse or partner to fix a failing relationship. Bear in mind that you want to fix a failing relationship so you need to be calm and diplomatic. If you are not yet ready, give yourself sometime to calm down to clear your mind and to be logical with what is going on. If your mind is clouded with anger, nothing positive will come out of the communication with your spouse or partner. Leave out insults, dirty arguments, blaming, accusing and anger because the person you want to talk to is the person you love and not an enemy. Communicate calmly and discuss about your feelings and be considerate of his or her feelings too. Communication is good not only when you have conflicts and you want to fix a failing relationship but regular communication is healthy in any relationship to make the connection stronger. It is best that you both schedule a weekly discussion over lunch, dinner or simple date to express each other?s feelings and make sure that all issues are resolved. Make communication and talking with each other a habit.

Compromise. There is a saying that ?It takes two to tango.? In a relationship it is not only about you or about your spouse or partner only. This is about the two of you because you are both responsible for the success and failure of your relationship. If you want to fix a failing relationship, you have to know how to compromise. You and your spouse or partner must decide together about the things that matters to your relationship. Consult each other and compromise. If there are things not acceptable to you, meet in the middle, compromise and make things work out between you and your spouse or partner.

It is easier to learn how to fix a failing relationship than go through painful break up or divorce. Conflicts and arguments are normal occurrences in a relationship, the most important thing is that you know what to do to prevent break ups and save your relationship. If your relationship is still under pressure, things are not going well and the situation looks like hopeless, quitting is not the solution because there are still things you can do. Do you want to find out a proven step-by-step strategy to fix a failing relationship even if your situation seems hopeless? To find out how visit Bring Back Lost Love.

To know more about relationships visit All About Relationships.