A Guide for Singles and Couples Seeking True Love

Have you ever wished there was a ‘guidebook’ to navigate you through the maze of your relationship? Here it is! 5 of our most powerful 10+ Tips to Making Your Relationship the Best Ever. (See also our “5+ Tips” to glean the enormous benefits of our blissful love advice.) Read full article

Some principles remain true down through the ages. Whether we cook over a fire or push a button on the microwave, the power of relationships is one of those principles. When fully understood, creating effective reflationships will open unimaginable doors for you.

Now I am not talking about networking as we understand that term today. I am talking about a delicate balance that requires extra effort to establish and maintain. Building relationships really is the key to your future success and prosperity.

Building solid relationships that stand the test of time is a necessity for several reasons. For example, in a group or organization, the success of each person depends on how efficient and effective the relationships within that group or organization function and how each relationship relates to the management of the organization.

The person who understands how to build and maintain effective relationships is the person who could run the organization one day in the near future.

On the one hand, being part of a group or organization that has not established solid relationships among its members can really be very frustrating. On the other hand, an effective group or organization may ask so much of their members, that sometimes the members would have no life outside the organization because they are forced to sacrifice all other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. Organizations or groups with these kinds of scenarios are disfunctional and relationships can be stressed to the point of disintegration.

One only needs to watch The Apprentice with Donald Trump or some of the other reality shows for some good tips on how relationships should and should not function.

Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. It’s the time tested – “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know that counts.” Creating relationships that are mutually beneficial, where cooperation and respect are required of both parties, will create a success environment that, eventually, will impact society for better or worse. Criminal enterprises are based largely on relationship as are athletic teams. One creates good, one does not but, in both, each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal that will benefit all members of the group. This can only be achieved with effective and efficient relationships.

To get what you want you must first understand the needs of the other party to be in a position to craft an effective and efficient relationship. What is the easiest way to understand what is important to another party? Ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party sees that you really want to know, they will give you all the information that you need to determine how you can create a solution that is beneficial to you as well as them.

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly and clearly express what they need and want out of forging the relationship. Never assume that the other party understands our needs and will just give us what we need, when we need it, without asking for it. You must not also assume that you know their needs lest you give up something you will later regret giving. It is a step by step process. The first step is to ask what they need and to make sure the other party knows exactly what you need by telling them so.

A key component to a successful relationship is mutual respect. This is grown through the process of open communication. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they think. A good tool is to listen first and summarize what they tell you by saying something like – “Let me make sure I have this straight. Are you saying you need me to…….?” Keep asking and listening and summarizing until you have a solid understanding of what the other party needs. By the same token, use this tool to clearly articulate your needs by saying something like – “So, if I can do…….. for you, you can do …………..for me, right?”

Asking, listening, and summarizing will ensure there are no misunderstandings later and will start laying the foundation of respect on which you will begin building the relationship. If both parties carry out their parts of the bargain, the relationship can last for years and continue to provide benefits to both parties.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle areas of disagreement openly. Disagreements between parties can be quite interesting. When five people see the same accident there will likely be five different versions told to the investigators. Each person sees the situation from their own perspective. If you can can see past the differences you are the one who can create a win-win solution for both parties.

When you acknowledge that the relationship is more important that the areas of disagreement, be the one to exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party’s problem areas and try to get it out of the way. Even if you fail, it demonstrates to the other party that you really want to establish a long term relationship that will be mutually beneficial.

Another key is to create an atmosphere that is conducive to informal discussions. This allows both parties to realx and bring out issues and concerns comfortably. Whay are so many business deals made on the golf course do you imagine?

When an informal location is not possible, develop an informal atmosphere right where you are. If in an office, make sure there are no obstacles like a desk or table between you and the other party. The key is making the whole process less threatening so the other party will express their feelings as if they are having an informal chat with a friend.

Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. Think long term in creating relationships. I have relationships that go back 20 years and more. These are people whom I may only talk with once a year but who are as close as the telephone and willing do me a favor without the expectation of anything in return because I will do the same for them when they need help.

That’s what relationships are for.

Jim De Santis

Why people are interested in tantric sex

Judging from my long time experience as a tantric sex coach, it seems to me that most people at some point in their lives have a sexual experience that could be called transcendental or mystical, or simply “out of this world” wonderful. This special sexual experience could have taken place with a partner or on their own. It doesn’t matter how it came about, what matters is that many, many people naturally have this kind of amazing sexual encounter, often quite inadvertently. That’s because our bodies, psyches and spirits are wired to have this kind of experience. It’s in our original blue print to be ecstatic. When we are able to totally relax, let go, trust and open up, magical, divine love-making happens all by itself.

So, if it’s so natural, why don’t more people enjoy mind-blowing sex as a regular, everyday thing? That’s because our upbringing has trained us out of our intuitive knowing. Still, having once, or sporadically, had this experience, it is only understandable that people spend their lives trying to recapture that special moment, often failing to do so. Some manage it occasionally, but few have it consistently. Others go down the wrong track all together into all kinds of sexual distractions, even sex addiction. But what people really seek deep down is sex that helps them merge with the divine, sex that tunes them into the love that is the very fabric of who we are, sex that helps them melt and become one with God, Goddess, The Source, “That which is eternal”.

The reason “Tantra” has become so popular lately is because tantric sex describes quite well this sacred sex that people are missing. And so people try out whatever suggestions they find under the term Tantra. But what a lot of people don’t understand is that no amount of techniques or special breathing rhythms or chants or body positions, or incense or gadgets will get you to this longed for state of blissful pleasure and merging.

What you need to get there is much simpler then that. To have fantastic life-altering sex you need emotional and physical openness, that’s it.

It’s simple but that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily easy.

That’s why, paradoxically, these mystical sexual experiences are often experienced by couples who are fairly new to each other. Check your own experience and see if I’m right.

This is so because couples who are new to each other are typically a lot less weighed down with cautiousness. There is an innocence, a freshness, a hopefulness and a lack of negative expectation. There is an absence of the protection that usually builds between a couple as their intimate relating touches old emotional wounds and as lack of sexual knowledge and communication skills creates repeated disappointments.

Does that mean that you should go from honeymoon to honeymoon, from partner to partner in search of this magical sex. Oh no! The truly best sex, the lasting kind, the really amazing deeply transformational sex is always found in committed relationships where the partners keep growing in closeness together.

So what can a couple do to consistently have the best sex they’ve ever had? And not just on their honeymoon or once in a great while?

They can commit to emotional, physical and energetic opening. But how?

In my home audio workshop and e-book “Sex for the Soul” I go into great detail as to what a couple can do, but here I’ll just give you a short list of tips:

1. Have eye contact when you make love much of the time. See and allow yourself to be seen, be emotionally naked.

2. Talk about your sex life. Be willing to increase your communication about specific sexual physical details by 100%; what works for you, what doesn’t, and what you wish your partner and you would try. Keep blame out of it. Rather then focusing on what doesn’t work let each other know what would work. Make yourself vulnerable and be honest.

3. Relax your body when you make love. Slow things down enough so that you can feel your genitals very sensitively. Start slow, and slow down in between more heated moments. Your body will teach you how to have sacred sex if you slow down enough to listen to it.

4. Be willing to experiment with new ways of playing in the bedroom, physically and emotionally.

5. Don’t settle for sexual gratification, which means, don’t just go for orgasm at all cost, neither his nor hers. Seek to make love, to create a space of lovingness, each time you connect sexually.

6. Make love often; bring your bodies together regularly. Let your lovemaking become a meditation of surrender, connection, vulnerability and deep relaxation. See it as a spiritual practice. Let your relationship be a journey of learning and growing in love together.

And here an excerpt from my upcoming audio program “Sex for the Soul”

…….One of the messages of this program is: Don’t just have sex, make love! Most people, when they hear the words “making love” immediately assume it means having a sexual exchange, am I right? Have you ever really considered why that is? It is because, since time immemorial, sex is one of the best ways that humans have to create more love: in their relationship, in their lives, and on the planet. Unfortunately, the way things are nowadays, having sex doesn’t mean making love. Consciously engaging in the act of creating more love through the sexual act is not what most people think about when they are having sex. The way sex is promoted these days in popular culture presents sex as a means for physical pleasure, excitement, fun, or even social status. Although there is no problem with any of these, the media is inadvertently promoting loveless sex. “Tips for better sex”, “How to have more sizzling orgasms”, “Make sex last longer”, “5 new techniques to Dazzle Your Partner in Bed”– these are the headlines we see every day on magazine covers. The word “love” does not appear in any of these headlines and that’s why it’s easy to forget to look for love.

Another message of this program is equally important: Don’t just live together, make love! So many long- term couples have given up and resigned themselves to a life of companionship, and maybe occasional sex, but there are many easy and some not so easy things a couple can do to bring the spark back to their partnership.

And to come back to the value of tantric techniques, special breathing rhythms, mantras, chants, sexual positions, energy exercises, incense, sacred symbols, etc. Once you have emotional openness all the above can be a lot of fun and add to your experience in lovely ways. Often the biggest value is not the technique itself but the fact that in endeavoring to bring these things into their life, couples start talking about their sex-life and begin to explore. But just remember, you don’t really need any techniques to have the best sex you ever had. You just need to trust yourself and your body ever more deeply.

If you want to start today, try one of my tips for Sacred Sex above.My audio workshop will give you many more explicit and detailed instructions to work with, but for now go to my list of tips and start exploring the vast depths of sexual mystery and magic that is yours by birthright.

Resources:

http://www.sacredloving.net/

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl

You don’t need me to tell you about the dire state of the American economy and the reverberations being felt around the world. While you’re probably well aware of how this is directly impacting your bank account, home value, and nest egg, there is a <i>hidden casualty</i> that doesn’t seem to be getting any press:

Marriages and relationships are buckling under the stress of these uncertain, stressful economic times.

Money is a sensitive and complicated issue for many couples. Arguments and power struggles can easily result and couples often feel blindsided by how a once strong relationship can be pulled apart by conflicts over finances. Here are five steps you can take to help your relationship survive this economic crisis.

1. Make the decision to keep your relationship a priority

It is easy to lose sight of the importance of your relationship during tough economic times (or during any stressful period). Many loving couples lose their way when worries about job security and money begin to take center stage in their relationship-intimacy is temporarily compromised when you or your partner become overwhelmed by fear; the very bond that supports your union can be weakened when your fears become a mainstay of your relationship.

Becoming conscious of this danger is essential to the health of your marriage or relationship. Make it a habit to check in with each other and acknowledge the importance of your relationship-you both need to make a conscious effort to help your love transcend the hurdles you face. With a little planning you and your partner can create “no-worry-zones” throughout the day–protected moments where you both give one another permission to only think about each other, about the positive aspects of your relationship. Think of these as temporary pit-stops that can allow you both to refuel the relationship.

Remember, if you’re anxious about money and/or job security, it will take effort and practice for you to be fully present with your spouse or partner in these moments.

2. Acknowledge and accept changing roles

We all play different roles in our relationships (and in our lives). For instance, you might be the “go-to person” during times of trouble; or maybe you’re the joker who makes everyone smile.

Often changes in family income bring about changes in the roles that were a natural part of your relationship-the bread-winner who took pride in supporting her/his family may now have to apply for unemployment (or take two jobs just to make ends meet); The full-time parent may now be forced to leave the children in someone else’s care and search for work. Beyond defining us as individuals, many of our assumed roles give particular meaning and value to our lives-and we can feel shaken at our core when stripped of these roles.

Share your struggles with your spouse/partner and supportive others if you are having difficulty transitioning into a new and unwelcome role in your life.

3. Find new ways to connect and enjoy one another

Your income and resources may change drastically during a financial crisis-or you may live with chronic anxiety that your finances can drastically change at any moment. Money that you originally allocated for vacations, dining out, gifts and other leisure activities may suddenly be needed to pay the mortgage or rent, be used for food, and utility bills (or saved for future expenses). Your relationship needs to change with the changing tides of your finances.

The challenge is for you and your partner to seek out new ways to connect and enjoy each other without the constraints of limited finances. You’ll need to adopt a new mindset for this to occur and you’ll each need to sacrifice. As your inspiration think of the starving artist or broke college student who are able to create meaningful relationships despite being financially destitute. Try to forget the trappings that money brings and head back to romance basics: holding hands, long walks, movies, games (is anyone up for charades?), making each other laugh…brainstorm together on how to have inexpensive, low- to no- cost fun.

4. Learn to ask for help/seek support from each other

Denial and stoicism aren’t useful, especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Unfortunately, some couples keep their collective heads in the sand and act like it is business as usual until something drastic happens-well, something pretty drastic is happening, so now may be a good time to get your head out of the sand.

All too often couples don’t share their fears with one another-this is especially the case for men. It’s so common it’s become a clich

One relaxed way to transport the excitement back into your relationship is too set up a time night. While you may see one another daily and even go out to banquet every Friday night, locale up a court night external of your regular schedule will enhance your relationship and give you something to look familiar to. Don’t just schedule a night to go out to banquet but pleasure each of these time nights as if they were first dates and make them unusual, go buy some sexy lingerie to dress underneath for later!. Go all out receiving yourself dressed up and take unusual tending in your appearance. Prepare for your court night as if you were truly demanding to make a good first impression. Going out of your way to have at slightest one night of fun and romance a week will help add a little dynamism to your relationship.

Giving your partner gifts for no incentive at all is another ways to get your relationship back on footpath. You may have lavished gifts on your partner early in the relationship but as the relationship progressed you may not have done so as frequently. Small, important gifts given just to make your partner glad will let them know that they are still always on your view just as they were in the launch of the relationship.

The unadorned act of property hands can also add excitement back into a relationship. This intimated gesture conveys a substance of sanctuary but it also lets your partner know that you want to be close to them at all epoch. Many couples grasp hands everywhere they go early in a relationship but don’t do so later. Try grabbing your partners hand as you are out operation tasks together. They will be touched by the sentiment and will be glad to be allotment a meaning of closeness with you again. Doesn’t it get you when you see an old couple land hands?

A kiss is still another way to produce the excitement back into your relationship. You may have gotten into the habit of bountiful your mate a kiss on the cheek or a transient peck on the lips when you see them after a long day of work. Trying kissing them with passion the next time you see them to contract them by stun and sincerely let you know not only how much you adore them but how attractive you find them as well.

Having an universal fascinate can also promote excitement in a relationship. If there is an activity that you both have liability, make it something that the two of you do together regularly. For example if you both like hiking make policy to go hiking every Saturday morning and each time you go out make it a little different by exploring a new scene or setting new goals for yourselves. This will give the two of you an attempt to reconnect while enjoying each other’s group. Having a ritualistic activity that you and your partner enjoy together creates closeness and intimacy that can help put the excitement back into your relationship.

Offering your partner a work when they are worn-out and jaded can also produce the excitement back to your relationship. A knead can be a very sensual and intimate experience. Additionally offering a massage lets your partner know that you can see that they are stressed out and exhausted. They will appreciate your putting them first in the relationship and this will help create back the excitement in your relationship.

Over time a relationship may misplace some of the excitement that it had in the very opening. While this may be troublesome it is also completely normal and reversible. Noticing the require of excitement in your relationship is the first action to restoring that excitement. It may take a little work but with a few unfussy actions you can be on your way to an exciting relationship. Don’t disregard to make them feel exclusive, sometimes just giving them something nice like a new example of lingerie can make all the difference.

You might think it?s a shame that you can?t take a class called Save A Relationship 101 in college. You can take math classes, physics classes, literature classes ? you can take a class on virtually everything under the sun! A class on how to save a relationship or relationships in general, however, is something that could help everyone and is available to no one. Fortunately, you already have the skills needed to save your relationship and make it better without needing a class. All you DO need is a willingness to work at it.

Most relationships, no matter what happens, can be saved. Now, there ARE a few relationships that just shouldn?t be saved, like those that are abusive or one in which both partners are really miserable. But most relationships have the potential to be saved. That should be lesson number one in any Save A Relationship 101 class.

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Most relationships are very exciting in the beginning but if you have been in your current relationship for awhile already you may have noticed that the initial excitement you experienced is starting to waiver and you and your partner may be settling into a dull routine. As a relationship progresses one or both partners may be guilty of settling into complacency and may not strive to keep the element of excitement in their relationship. The following are a few tips for ensuring that your relationship stays as exciting as it was in the beginning.

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