The majority of your relationships will come to end – so prepare for it. Ladies, please do not lose your mind when a relationship ends. Most of your relationships will end, unless you get married, and sometimes even that relationship is terminated by divorce. I’m not trying to be pessimistic, but it’s the truth.
Every relationship does not have to last forever; that may be setting your hopes too high right now. It’s too much pressure, particularly if you’re not with the right person. Living happily ever after may not be something you can work out; it simply might not be attainable. Sometimes you meet guys with whom you have a loving relationship for just a season. You may meet a man when you’re on the rebound, and the short relationship is perfect and just what you need at that time. Those relationships can literally help bring you back to life.
If you are in an unfulfilling relationship that is wrong for you, don’t be afraid to end it. A sure sign that it’s probably falling apart is if you are desperately trying to keep the relationship together. The harder that you’re trying, the more likely this is.
When I was younger and more immature about how I dated, I didn’t know that the end of the relationship was a likely outcome. I was always trying to avoid the relationship from ending. Then when the guy and I inevitably stopped seeing each other, I’d dwell on that loss day and night. I’d think about the relationship for months, and I held on to the gifts and cards—even special emails or photos. I’ve learned by now that I don’t need to hold onto any reminders of bad relationships. In fact, I don’t need any reminders or emotional attachments to anything painful in my past. It slows down the healing process by dwelling on earlier times. Nowadays if I stop dating a guy, I rarely keep the number in my cell phone, much less any cards or gifts. Don’t penalize your future love life by holding on to destructive and painful memories from your past. Also, if your relationship failure was due to a bad lapse in judgment, a once-in-a-lifetime mistake, forgive yourself and move on to your next relationship opportunity.
Men have a better ability to get out of relationships than women. Oftentimes a man will give you clues long before he actually breaks up with you. For instance, the man starts to spend less time with you and has less sex with you. He also picks fights so he has an excuse to leave. Since the guy knows he’s about to go, he may have already started seeing someone else. During the pre-breakup phase, pay attention and prepare yourself to move on. Start working out and keep busy because breakups are always a tough time in your life. You will mourn the end of the relationship and allow yourself to do so.
You must realize that falling in love means that you take the risk of being hurt. That is the risk you take, but it is worth the risk. Don’t let fear of being hurt prevent you from getting involved in deep meaningful relationships. It will be important to feel the pain. By allowing ourselves to feel the pain, hurt and sometimes rejection, we grow stronger as well as identify ways to improve ourselves for the next relationship. Pain in life is inevitable so learn how to feel and heal from these painful experiences in life.
J.J. Smith is a Dating Diva who offers a fresh perspective on dating and relationships that will help you create a wonderful life that attracts the best men for you and get the love you really want! To learn more about her highly anticipated book, Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating, as well as other eBooks and free articles, visit www.jjsmithonline.com Copyright © 2009 J.J. Smith |
