The first date is one of the most important events in a new relationship and know that how you communicate is a key factor in making him interested in seeing you again. If a guy is interested in a second date, he will likely try to make plans for it before you end the first one. Or an interested man will contact you within a few days to try and schedule another date to see you. If he calls you a few weeks after your date, he’s really not that interested in you. If you call him once, and he doesn’t return your call, try him again in about a week. If you haven’t heard from him after calling once or twice, just stop calling. He’s moved on. Other reasons that a man doesn’t call or make plans right away include having some drama/crisis going on in his life or emotional hang-ups. This means no follow-through can be a sign of low interest or a red flag.
To increase your chances of securing a second date it is important to understand how your communication plays an important role during the first date. The goals of communication between a man and a woman are fundamentally different. Women use communication to bond socially or romantically with the person they are conversing with. Men tend to communicate to exchange information or solve a problem. A woman will communicate simply because she enjoys talking, whereas the man is usually more interested in trading information.
When it comes to communicating, it is important to create some mystery and intrigue about you. A woman is sometimes too eager to tell a man everything about herself. Don’t overcommunicate with a man on a first date by telling him too much information about yourself. Leave some mystery and allure; allow him to get to know more and more about you over time. He should want to know more about you each time he sees you, not run because you’ve told him way too much already.
Another key factor about communicating with a man is to display intelligence. If a man is successful, he expects his woman to be intelligent because our partners in life are a reflection of who we are and what we want out of life. It makes a man look better to family, friends and co-workers if you are intelligent. That way, you’ll be able to easily converse at company events and family gatherings. People will be impressed because his woman is beautiful and intelligent. Remember beauty is what gets his attention, but intelligence is one of the ways to keep him.
Additionally, men like women who communicate clearly and succinctly. Listen to the way that men communicate to one another. Avoid mushy, emotional conversation as much as possible. He is not interested in talking about your feelings on a first date, keep it light and fun. Suggestions for topics to talk about on your first date include:
- His interests or hobbies
- Sports
- Interesting books or magazines (People magazine does not count.)
- Movies, plays or theater
- His work/job
- Your work/job
- Current news or pop culture topics
Let a guy get to know you before you begin to share too many details about your views and your past. For most of us, the rough times in our lives have allowed us to grow and become the people we are today. However, until someone gets to know you, they may not understand or may pass judgments on some your past mistakes. So remember to keep your conversation light and upbeat to complete the overall first date experience.
J.J. Smith is a Dating Diva who offers a fresh perspective on dating and relationships that will help you create a wonderful life that attracts the best men for you and get the love you really want! To learn more about her highly anticipated book, Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating, as well as other eBooks and free articles, visit www.jjsmithonline.com Copyright © 2009 J.J. Smith |
