The first date is one of the most important events in a new relationship. First dates are important because they can either make a man eager to see you again or make him run for the highway. Know that your communication is key to making him interested in seeing you again.
Considering the location of the first date is one of the most critical decisions that need to be made. The first date location will affect the way you interact with each other so be sure to find an environment where you’ll both feel relaxed and comfortable. The other critical factor in a successful first date is your conversation, which should be light and upbeat to complete the overall first date experience.
When communicating on a first date, it is important to let a guy get to know you before you begin to share too many details about your views and your past. For most of us, the rough times in our lives have allowed us to grow and become the people we are today. However, until someone gets to know you, they may not understand or may pass judgments on some your past mistakes. Here are some tips for what NOT to talk about on your first date:
- Getting Married: It scares men to get married to someone they love. This is definitely not a conversation he wants to have with a woman he barely knows.
- Your Kids: You love your kids and they interest you. However, to a man, this just indicates increased responsibility or baby daddy drama.
- Your Horrible Childhood: Don’t seek pity for injustices in your past; it will make you appear hurt, wounded and in need of healing.
- Ex-Boyfriends: This is a no-win situation. If you say something positive about an ex-boyfriend, a man will feel threatened or discouraged. If you say how he cheated on you constantly, he will think you are weak and a pushover. The truth is that there’s no good outcome likely to result from talking about an ex on the first date.
- Politics: People are generally passionate about their political beliefs, and these conversations can wait until later.
- Death or Depressing Events: Do I even need to explain why you shouldn’t talk about death or depressing news? Emotionally charged topics such as death are too heavy to discuss on a first date. The goal is to keep the conversation upbeat and light and death and depressing events just brings everyone down.
- Sex: If you start a conversation about sex, the guy will take it over and won’t be able to focus on any other topic for the rest of the night. There needs to be some things that are mysterious about you. Talking details about sex takes some of the intrigue and mystique away from the actual sexual encounter.
- Therapy or Rehab: He doesn’t need to know how well your therapy or rehab sessions are going. He also doesn’t need to know that you had a nervous breakdown (if you did), at least not on the first date.
To increase your chances of securing a second date, it may be a good idea to remove these topics from your conversation.
J.J. Smith is a Dating Diva who offers a fresh perspective on dating and relationships that will help you create a wonderful life that attracts the best men for you and get the love you really want! To learn more about her highly anticipated book, Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating, as well as other eBooks and free articles, visit www.jjsmithonline.com Copyright © 2009 J.J. Smith |
