With today’s competition, it’s essential to become proactive about meeting men. I live in the DC Metro Area, and it is one of the most competitive areas to date. This is due to the male-to-female ratio, which happens to be one of the least advantageous to women in the country. In my county (Prince George’s County, Maryland), there are only 76 men for every 100 single women.
You’ll want to increase the quantity of men you date so that you can clearly determine which characteristics you want or need in a man. As you start dating and meeting more men, you will be able to better understand what characteristics and traits are important to you.
Some women have no problem meeting men; but for others, the good men are few and far between. This second group of women has a tendency to feel more pressed and act more desperate when they meet a man. This is why it’s essential to increase the number of men you meet and date, even if they are not your ideal mate. It keeps you in practice ’til the right guy comes along.
Another reason to increase the quantity of men that you meet is to leverage the Rotation Strategy, which requires that you have no less than three men to date at any given time. The Rotation Strategy ensures that you have options to keep yourself busy so that you don’t become too pressed or focused on only one guy. This is particularly important if you haven’t dated in a while. It will be hard not to become focused or fixated on one guy because he’s the only guy who has expressed any interest in you for some time. But until you are in a committed exclusive relationship, you should continue to have several guys as available date options.
If you meet a guy you like, don’t get rid of the others and focus all of your energy and efforts on the one man you like. It’s ok to have a prioritized order of the guys that you’re dating, and as you meet new guys that you like more, you just remove the least favorite date from the rotation. If the guy at the top of the list doesn’t call you, one of the others likely will. If guys feel they have competition, they sense it and will know that you are not pressed or desperate for them. It’s helpful to begin to keep a calendar (online or a paper datebook) to ensure you can manage your dating schedule.
I would encourage you to learn to simply enjoy the company of men. Remember, I’m encouraging you to date, and not to have sex with many men. I’m not trying to encourage promiscuity. That is an individual choice that I personally do not advocate.
Having several men to date will build your confidence and self-esteem. It will allow you to hone your dating skills, such as improving your communication style on dates. We can date many men and enjoy their company until we find someone worth having a meaningful relationship with.
J.J. Smith is a Dating Diva who offers a fresh perspective on dating and relationships that will help you create a wonderful life that attracts the best men for you and get the love you really want! To learn more about her highly anticipated book, Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating, as well as other eBooks and free articles, visit www.jjsmithonline.com Copyright © 2009 J.J. Smith |
