There are alternatives for the millions of men and women who are failing at traditional relationships and feel guilty or ashamed about their ongoing relationship challenges. In the past, whenever there was infidelity or a desire for one partner to be intimate with someone else, the primary option considered was divorce or to end the relationship. One must think that there has to be more imaginative alternatives other than divorce.
Cheating on one’s spouse or mate has become a part of our culture, and even though it is not perceived as acceptable, it is still practiced by a large number of people. In contrast, in open relationships, all parties involved agree to be honest and open about their desires and needs instead of cheating, lying and being deceptive with their partner.
An open marriage relationship provides an alternative to being a traditional couple; under this arrangement, both partners can agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without this being regarded as infidelity. Open marriages provide an alternative in which both partners agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without this being regarded as infidelity. There are many different types of open marriages based upon the partners having varying levels of input about their spouse’s activities. Open marriage is one in which each partner has room for personal growth and can develop outside friendships. These nonexclusive relationships involve some degree of intimacy, whether it be emotional, physical/sexual, or intellectual.
Many couples have positive experiences with open marriage and believe it has helped to maintain satisfaction in their marriages and stability. One study showed that 76 percent of openly married couples describe the quality of their relationships as “better than average” or “outstanding.” Levels of marital satisfaction for these couples are often quite high. Some couples even feel open marriage has improved their relationships. Thus, open marriage can have a positive impact on many couples.
I want to point out that there are many different types of open relationships. In some open relationships, either the primary pairing or the outside relationships are not about sex; they may just include companionship, intimacy and compassion. That is why you’ll often hear these relationships referred to as “intimate friendships.” The key factor is that open relationships provide the opportunity to have intimate friendships with multiple people in an ethical and responsible way.
Many people will openly say that they don’t agree with open marriages, while secretly desiring alternative relationships outside of their marriage. Given that 3.2 million members have joined www.Ashleymadison.com, a website for extramarital affairs with married people only, I think many people are already pursuing open marriages but just have not openly acknowledged it.
Open marriages provide an opportunity to get to know, love and experience different people in your life. To be clear, open relationships are not primarily about casual or sport sex. There are numerous ways to love someone; the act of sex is the easy part. Have you ever had a mind-blowing, intense conversation with a stranger, an innocently felt strong desire to see them again? This special type of connection is not about sex, it’s about a natural attraction for this person. In fact, there are numerous ways to make love or create intimacy with another person without ever having sex with them. Partners in open relationships are willing to engage in committed, serious relationships with more than one person, whether that be a friend, lover or online pal.
Don’t misunderstand me; I believe that there are definite benefits from the security, warmth and stability of a nurturing family. However, we must find new ways to create and sustain intimate relationships that meet our intrinsic needs. For many people, it is very natural for them to desire sexual intimacy with more than one partner. This intrinsic desire is why so many monogamous relationships fail. There is a conflict between the person’s natural non-monogamous nature and the monogamous tradition, and this conflict should cause us to explore new forms of intimate relationships.
J.J. Smith is a Dating Diva who offers a fresh perspective on dating and relationships that will help you create a wonderful life that attracts the best men for you and get the love you really want! To learn more about her highly anticipated book, Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating, as well as other eBooks and free articles, visit www.jjsmithonline.com Copyright © 2009 J.J. Smith |
