It will be important to get to know the difference between a dating relationship and a long-term committed relationship. If we want to have dating relationships for fun and recreation, we will have to stop trying to making every guy we date our husband or our long-term committed partner. We can simply have fun and enjoy a man’s company. Since the process of dating does not have to end in a marriage, we have to be able to quickly discern whether a man is a potential good partner for dating versus someone who is a good life partner or husband.
Don’t make the mistake others have made by having so much fun dating that you assume a long-term committed marriage is the likely next step. Just because the two of you are having a great time dating doesn’t necessarily mean you will be successful in a long-term committed relationship. Knowing what you need in an ideal mate for a long-term committed relationship has to be very clear in your mind. It is important to know what you want from a man or a relationship. If you don’t know, then your chances are poor of ever getting it. When you know what you want and value in a mate, you can do the choosing opposed to waiting to be chosen. Choosers know what they want and take responsibility for getting it. You are in charge of creating the love life that you want. Know what you want and take the initiative to go after it! So, you will have to look deeper to identity your particular wants and needs, that way you can seek the compatibility needed for a deeper, more fulfilling relationship.
Women can learn from men about dating. Men date all types of women, those they feel are “marriage potential” and those who are just “good for dating.” They don’t wait until they find “marriage potential” women before they go out on dates. They definitely know the difference between these types of women, but they don’t let that stop them from enjoying dating both types. Woman will try to wait until they find that one guy who has “marriage potential” and then fixate on making the relationship work with him. This is often true even if that means they have to change the man to get him ready for marriage. In contrast, men don’t waste time trying to change women; they have too much other important stuff to do. If he’s interested in dating you, he will, and if he’s not, he won’t. If you don’t meet his standard for “marriage potential,” then you will just become “good for dating” until someone better comes along.
In my book, Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating, I provide proven strategies that will definitely increase your chances of finding a husband. However, if you date with “finding a husband” on your mind, you will likely miss much of the fun and enjoyment that dating brings. You will have to stop thinking that marriage is the ultimate goal. If marriages were so great, why are more than half of them ending in divorce? So, don’t rush into marriage, take your time, enjoy dating, and choose the man who is best for you.
J.J. Smith is a Dating Diva who offers a fresh perspective on dating and relationships that will help you create a wonderful life that attracts the best men for you and get the love you really want! To learn more about her highly anticipated book, Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating, as well as other eBooks and free articles, visit www.jjsmithonline.com Copyright © 2009 J.J. Smith |
